


The First and Last Kiss

by GeckoGirl89



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Angst, Community: comment_fic, Doomed Relationship, Episode: s05e12 You're Welcome, F/M, Ficlet, Introspection, Kissing, Last Kiss, POV Angel (BtVS), Retrospective, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 03:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9529679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoGirl89/pseuds/GeckoGirl89
Summary: One last kiss, and one first kiss, too, if you think about it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "any, any/any, one last kiss": http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/593598.html?thread=82862782#t82862782
> 
> I made a minor wording change from the original fill on Livejournal.

One last kiss, and one first kiss, too, if you think about it.

Angel doesn't count the first time, when Cordelia was just kissing him in an attempt to rid herself of the visions. Even if he would never forget the intense look in her eyes when she walked towards him, even if it took him far too long to pull away, and even if he had been lying when he said that he felt nothing. They were only friends at that point, and Angel had been concerned that her grief over Doyle's death had led to confusion on Cordelia's part.

As passionate as they were, he doesn't count the kisses from the night at the ballet either. They were influenced by the ballerina and her lover, and Angel can't deny that. Even if by that point, Angel was foolishly in love with her and knew he couldn't just kiss her to solve a case.

He also doesn't count all of those kisses from the dreams he had last year, because as vivid as they felt, they weren't real. They were only a product of his hopeless, desperate longing and a spell induced to make Angel lose his soul. So even if he would have kissed her at Point Dume and even if his idea of a perfect day included a lot of kisses from Cordelia, he doesn't count them. Cordelia wasn't even present for most of that time.

(Angel never learned about the kiss from the alternate reality, but he probably wouldn't count that either. Cordelia had no memory of who he was, and Angel was completely insane from the visions and the lonely burden of guilt. If he had been himself, Angel surely would have returned Cordelia's kiss.)

One last kiss, and this one is real (even if Angel doesn't know that Cordelia is only an astral projection at this point). This one will count. Cordelia, fully consenting, not imaginary, and not doing it for some instrumental purpose, is kissing Angel and cupping his cheeks with her hands. Angel, for once not dreaming, is kissing her in return with his arms wrapped around her back.

The telephone rings in the background, and the kiss ends. A few very real Eskimo kisses later and Cordelia tells a reluctant Angel that he needs to answer the phone call.

One last kiss, the only real kiss they ever got. They will both wish there could have been more, but fate only let them have one opportunity. As Cordelia said:

"We take what we can get, champ, and we do our best with it."


End file.
